the FRED BLOGGS blog

...sharing a random thought daily since 2007!

Saturday, 11 November 2023 18:23

At church on Sunday the local Vicar explained that he must move on to a larger congregation that would pay him more. There was a hush within the congregation. No one wanted him to leave because he was so popular. Fred Smith, who owned several car dealerships in the area stood up and proclaimed: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' The congregation sighed in appreciation and applauded. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stood up and said: 'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a Trust fund to guarantee private secondary school education for his children!' More sighs and loud applause. Agnes Jones, age 88, stood and announced with a smile: 'If the Vicar stays, I will sleep with him.' ...... There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?' Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k him'.

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